With Love, Papa.

Wednesday, 16 June, 2010

My dearest girl,

I do not want to let this day go without leaving its footprint in our memories, for us to one day revisit them with joy, together; I know how much you cried, my dear one, and I know how painful those moments must have been for you, not knowing how little is its size when we look at it through our ‘experienced’ eyes!!

Dear girl, I miss being there with you; I miss the opportunity to unfold your new dress and dress you up while telling you stories of what you will have there as you reach, the songs and the plays in the middle of possible chaos. I miss the opportunity to tell you, my dearest one, to join the group that will be singing, and to be careful with the group that will be playing, and to not join the group that will be causing chaos on this first day of a long journey that you are embarking on.
That applies to your ‘life’ too; look out for the groups that are merry from the songs they carry in their hearts, and have in your heart melodious harmony, my love; watch your steps and have them firm on the ground to be safe from the pushing and shoving of those who take it as a ‘game’, dear girl; and learn to keep your distance from those who are causing chaos in the community, in whatever names and labels.

Bicycle, teddy bears, crayons and clothes, it wasn’t hard at all for us to buy them for you; but you ask us a piece of future, my darling, all we can do is to show you perhaps the direction, but it is in your little hands that you will hold the pencils now that you design your future. Oh girl, I am still designing, a future for me, a future for us! Designing and redesigning is sometimes the journey itself, and in it we must find joy of life. And in that pencil is a lesson for us and I will share with you this story. A pencil, it must write in hard and soft surfaces alike; in tough times and in good times, live we must. It can draw, and if you draw something wrong, use the eraser and redraw, but continue drawing; to do mistake is fine, erase them with righteousness and continue living. It’s not the colour of the pencil, but it is what is inside that makes a difference; no matter your shape and colour and height, sweetheart, it is what is in your heart and the wisdom of your mind that makes a difference.

And be guided by the light-house that’s so bright and shining for you – your mother. Take your mother’s character as a role model for you to live; take my mother’s strength of mind and raw ability to endure the ruggedness of this otherwise beautiful life as your bookmarks of reference when in need; take from me perhaps the strength of love and compassion I have for you, to love and be compassionate to others whom you meet in life. Toil a lot for measured laughter, for you will harvest in multiples; waste not your tears, for they won’t even grow a weed, let alone relationship.

I love you, my dearest girl, and I am holding your hands from this distance with my eyes closed, as you take your first steps on this first day to your school…. on the 16th of this June of 2010.

If I am not there with you today, my ‘kunthiri’ darling, it is but for you…

With lot of hopes, and with lot more of love.
Papa.
(Shahir)


Ps : Today, 16th of June 2010 is Mariam’s first day at school.