The Contrast

I attended a funeral the other day – funeral of a man, like many others whose hands are briskly held and pulled behind the curtain of life by the extended reach of death, who had a few more unfinished patches of half sewn hopes.

Sitting down in a corner, observing the expressions in the face of people who visited the house on that day, I had many things to write and share; my thoughts seem to have fallen down and lost under the dead leaves of time, such that I am now unable to write what I then wanted to write.

I am not getting the beginning to write about that sad ending!

When the priest was waited for, I heard someone inquire ‘did he arrive yet’?

When the ambulance was waited for, I heard many inquiring ‘did they bring ‘the body’ yet’?

Validity of his name is expired. His name was of no use anymore. He was referred to as ‘the body’.

Death is not as much a concern for the dying or the dead than it is for those who are left behind; men stood silently with men whom they knew. Men stood staring at ‘death’ leaning against the wall, or they searched for life on the floor as they stood looking down, plunged in thoughts of what is inevitable! The old among them – what must have been going on in their minds? The young, they were aware too in the attributes of death that doesn’t discriminate the old and the young.

Time chose to slow down; is it the fear of death or the respect for the dead that the men in waiting had lost their voice as they spoke to each other, that I could only hear whispers that failed to beat the tick-tock of the clock’s pendulum that oscillated between the two ends of now and then.

Which one of my word is perhaps the last I will speak? Which one of my deeds is perhaps the last I will act?

Faith in the plans I draw for the time to come is lost when I see the heap of dreams lying scattered in the silence of his wife and children. Yet I know that it is in that faith and in the actions that follows that you build and leave a legacy for those you will leave behind, though life never fails to throw at you examples of stark realities as this that instantaneously ripped away through the center a piece of dream that was core to the existence of that family.

There was a silent question that perhaps everyone asked in their minds un-doubtful of this inevitable touch of exhausting time, and perhaps a silent resolution in their hearts to make their life better, as they escorted ‘the body’ on its final journey!

Human race have grown its capability to annihilate races in pursuit of power and positions; yet, how humbled they become when they see reminders of that inevitable moment when you carry nothing that you fought for, rather, you are being carried to a place that you’ve been reminded all the while!

Shahir

Alternate Seasons!

Back home!!

In a few months of being away, how children change – growing up!

Their conversation has changed; the choice of words they learned to use, or not to use amuses me, and amazes too. When Naisha has become more logic and speaks of the little science she learned in school and relate it to the daily motion of life, Mariam has learned to express in words her emotions of heart more than before, and has become expressive of the little things that matters most to her.

Their expressions are different, changed!! They have hopes that they are able to communicate – Mariam do not want me to be with my laptop except when I have ‘homework’ as she put, and can’t understand why I have to be in Iraq when all her friends dad’s doesn’t have to!

What they laugh for, and why they become silent are all symbolic of their growth – the life I missed to experience! When did Mariam grew up to feel ‘shy’!

Physical expressions of love has become a matter of utmost importance to them, more than before; a hug is replenished every now and then with a heartfelt rhyming expression of ‘I love you Papa,’ and an affectionate kiss that fractures the cheek bone.

Whom we love, they love too. Whom we dislike, they dislike too – that’s how the solidarity is expressed, that we do not want what you do not want, and embrace what we embrace. Mariam’s typhoid has taken a toll on her, depriving her of the food she loves most and limiting her to the bare essentials! Our way of expressing our solidarity with her is to not have anything that she can’t, and wait till she will recover fully when she can then have all the chocolates and candies we bought! It tests Naisha’s patience, though perhaps it might also train her to be a person of values!

If I were to pray for one thing that I am sure of having granted as a boon, perhaps as any parent would, that would be to give me whatever illness and misfortunes that are destined for them, so that they are not tested by the brutality of life and are blessed to enjoy the spring and summer alike, for everything I endure is with their welfare alone in mind!

The soothing chants from the temple, the smell of spices and flowers in the air, the dynamic sound of life from the neighboring streets, Jaysree aunty's 'rasam' and all that and more, these alternate seasons of life is perhaps what life is all about - a constant experience of transition!!

Shahir