Sunday, November 8, 2009

When It Rained..


It is raining, and raining like a poem.

The sky is beautiful still. I always loved the silver shade of sky when it rains. The leaves are shining too, and I realize sadly how little I paid attention to their existence right outside the entrance!

We had this rocking chair in the car porch for months, kept there to sit, unwind and relax after a days hardwork or a week’s toil; however, the only time I ever used it is to hold its arm for support when I remove the lace of my shoes as I return home!

The focus has been always on what appeared to be ‘big’ and ‘there’ and hardly any time was spent on what is beautifully ‘small’ and ‘here’ as we raced towards what we kept as a goal far out there as a means to live happily one day, while the components of happiness in form of enjoying the beauty of these shining leaves and the silver strings of rain drops continue to slip through our fingers of time...

Today I decided to live in the now and here. And how relieving is the experience.

I am sitting here in the car porch, in the comfort of this rocking chair, watching rain in all its splendour, and listening to its symphony – the variation of sound from the drops falling on the roof of my car and on the window shades, that mixed with the splashing sound of its fall in the pool of water on the floor. It can turn out to be a noise for those who care less, but its rhythm is in the ears of the beholder. Today, I chose to listen to its rhythm, and listened to it with joy.

There is an inspiration in nature. The inspiration is in the stillness of what is around us. The inspiration is also in the slowness of how that stillness evolve into its being. The tree outside my entrance is still, and if I care to notice the life in it and its evolution, I begin to feel the waves of breeze washing its leaves, the leaves responding with her shyness, the branches dancing to its tunes and enjoying the sensation of its caressing, and the other plants and shrubs joining the fraternity to collectively celebrate the arrival of a season.

Kanchan – one of the participants from a lifeskills programme- shared with me the other day how she is stopped from doing what she wanted to do, due to the rain we are having in Chennai for the last couple of days. I shared with her the response of Nelson Mandela during his first tour to France after his release from 27 years of imprisonment, where he was asked by the reporters on what he want to do most now since he is free. He responded with clarity, that all he wanted to do is to “sit down and do nothing”.

Isn’t that vital to do so, when the race has been for so long and the nourishment in between was relatively little? For the sixteen years of working, I wonder sometimes if I too were not imprisoned to a target or a goal or a dream or a certain knowledge of what I must be doing and what I should abstain from doing or what I should do to project my abilities and what I should do to hide my vulnerabilities. I feel too that this ‘inactive reflection’ is crucial to replenish the worn out portion of our being – physically and intellectually, and that it provides in itself the pool of resources from which we can draw the wisdom and energy to realign to the purpose of being, unlock the shackles that we ourselves locked us into in the process of attaining prosperity and remove from within us the obstacles in form of ideas and thoughts that leads to actions and therefore results that do not benefit our growth nor contribute to the legitimate attainment of our ultimate happiness of living that can be celebrated in public than in hiding.

When the nature is clean, when its design is genuine and, in my submission to its grandeur, it is inspiration enough for me to live, and to leave a legacy with what I am capable of delivering to the hearts and minds I meet, in spite of the roadblocks that are being put ahead by those whom I believed – an episode similar to many successful people who has looked upon it at a later stage in their life as events that has stimulated them to excel.

I love rain; I love rain today than ever before. It brought for me with it a tranquil silence, a subtle hope, and brilliant calmness.

Salient features of a successful mind.


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Thursday, November 5, 2009

3:42am

To sit on the green cushion on that little window sill in the Landmark at Spencers and browse through the books that are making news across the world, read them listening to the wide mix of music ranging from Middle Eastern to Oriental to the very soothing ragas of Indian karnatic while watching the various expressions of people who moves around you, some holding on to their umbrellas or office folders, and some others holding the hands of their loved ones walking with an eye on one and their mind on the other...

It’s 3:42am. I am wide awake thinking so loudly inside me, how much I will miss India be that in Heaven or in Hell.

“The Subramani” who can talk to you at length on topics ranging from ‘mudras’ that will heal your pain to that of the thoughts and reflections of James Allen or Gabriel Marquez, or talk about the ‘differences in sameness’ and the ‘oneness of all,’ talking for hours in a row while shifting the weight of our bodies from one leg to the other and yet stand in one place and reflect on the principles and values or its deterioration that governs the human endeavours... topics that hop from one to the other and yet every topic so deeper and richer than the other...

“E. P. M. Gonzales” who is old in age but young in thoughts who can discuss anything and everything from the works of Ken Blanchard to that of Daniel Goldman, quote at ease the verses from Gita or Bible, the secretion of hormones and its effects on our emotions or be that the positive strokes and the real-life application of Transactional Analysis that we can discuss till – in his own language – the last cow has come home...

The simplicity in the richness of this experience is one that I will miss so dearly.

The ordinary men and women in their simplest form and nature who kept on intriguing me every time with the knowledge of what more life has to offer. Just when the sight of life get obscured by the darkness of experiences you face every day, here are some with their words – no matter how superfluous they appear to be – and reflections that serves as a balm that offers a soothing sensation for the aching soul, and a little ray of light that shows the potential dimension of yet another side of what is life and how it can be lived... in its simplest form.

The Landmark, the Subramani, the Gonzales, how I will miss them all; and in the nostalgic memories of being connected with these, how I will miss India...India being the experience of living a life in a pattern and texture that was until now unknown to me and one that I was just beginning to explore.

In the midst of my pursuit of life and the deception of living, I failed to enjoy this India!

It’s 04:14am.

Saturday, October 10, 2009

What is Pleasure?

This article was written for my official blog on January 10, 2009

What is the definition of Pleasure?

It may be a matter of opinion, like in any other definitions.

Pleasure is the result of an act – or a combination of acts – that makes one feel as light as feather and elated as high and close to the edge of heaven, congruent with moral and social ethics, and one in which all who are involved shares a reasonably same proportion of joy, and one that can be remembered as an event or series of events that years later will still bring smile on one’s face...; pleasure is something that you experienced or visualized as experienced, and that the experience can be shared with your sons and daughters, with joy and laughter, like you read a bed-time story...

...in having pleasure, integrity becomes the corner stone; values become the key driver; it can be as simple as weaving a garland of jasmine flowers and as rich as having an explosive orgasm with the person of your dream...; it could be as simple as a stroll in the woods on a Sunday morning; it could be as personal as a night spent on the river bank...and often derived from even an act as small as the attempt to define pleasure.

The CEO and board of directors of ENRON in United States, Sathyam Computers in India and many more failed to define pleasure beyond their sight of individual joy and personal greed heedless of the human creed!

That may be the bigger version.

What parallel can we run from the corporate catastrophe of ENRONs and Sathyam’s to our personal life?

What is it that we can improve in our daily administration of life- replacing Corporate Governance with Personal Governance? Are we too perhaps fudging and skirting our emotional account books of behaviour projecting its non-existing credits to gain merits by stepping over the shoulders of our colleague or a neighbour or a... family member?! Are we too perhaps hiding within us facts and events that perhaps if audited by SEBI (System of Ethical Behaviour Internationally – my version, of course) will expose us to shame?

If we were to go blue or our eyes turn red or our hair stand up every time we think or behave unethical - from lying to gossiping to all the other shapes and forms of it as we know for now... what a different world we would be living in!?

The streets would be a sight to see....; the offices would be a place to be!!

And what about a “wonderful family” watching TV at home?!!

It all depends on how we define “pleasure”..


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Merchant of Death is Dead

This article was published in my official blog on January 02, 2009.

When in 1888 a French Newspaper published a premature obituary of Alfred Nobel titled “Merchant of Death is Dead” virtually condemning him for his invention of Dynamite...! In that article, the news paper wrote “...Dr Alfred Nobel, who became rich by finding ways to kill more people faster than ever before, died yesterday....” and published it by mistake while he was still alive.

That triggered the thought in Dr Nobel’s mind to live a life and leave a legacy for which he will be remembered for. He signed his last will and testament and set aside major chunk of his estate to establish the Nobel Prize...

If you were to see your own obituary printed in the Daily Newspaper that you read this morning, what would be its title, and what would be its content? What is it that you will be known for among your families? What is it that you will be remembered for among your closest friends? What memories of your actions will be cherished in the community halls of your society? What is it that you will be missed for in the mezzanine floor of your organization?

[I asked a closest friend of mine to write for me an obituary ; I chose a close friend not because I want to hear the few good things I believe I possess but because of the transparency we claim in our relationship through which I can be seen neutrally. I am yet to read them...it is not written yet because it may have carried for her an emotional dilemma of what can I write ‘in past’ about him who lives before my eyes ‘in present’.]

The emotional dilemma aside, this introspection is perhaps important at some point in life because that’s when we understand the temperature of our existence. Are we aligned to the true north of our values, or are we floating like a log moving but for neither a cause nor a destination? In the cruise towards the unseen but hopeful future, who are being left behind in the oblivion of past, or are pushed aside to the pathways; who are those we don’t hear as craving for us to slowdown to hold our hands and who are those ahead in the distance waving at us to move fast to reach where we must? What are the chances of us becoming the ceremonial memory in form of dancing flames of a candle or solemn hymns of a choir in an annual remembrance day, or the opportunities to be living in the hearts and minds of the few whom we were to influence through the resources that we are privileged to have that we at times hold on in an embrace like a little girl would to her teddy bear!

What are we doing?

What are we yet to do?

How can we inspire?

What can we deliver?

How can we enable everyone in our circles to achieve?

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Friday, September 26, 2008

Language of A Speeding Train

One night and half a day in train...

I have always fancied travelling in train and my best trip ever was from Cairo to Alexandria... ; though its aesthetic values were different, the Indian Railways has been in my focus especially since Lalu took charge of it – being one of the world’s largest rail networks, world’s largest commercial employer employing 1.6 million employees, and transporting 17 million passengers and 2 million tonnes of freights daily...

They are facts.... language of mind. Language of heart is different...

...there were spells of turbulent thoughts that I inherited from the days and weeks I have been here... emotions of those thoughts beating the rattling noise the crushing wheels that ran past the time and places...

That aside, I like watching rain and its effects from a moving vehicle..and view from a moving train has its special appeal... in addition to the innocent joy from the spray drops drenching my face and soaking my hands. I like watching paddy fields and palm groves...the kaleidoscopic changes it offers in every moving seconds... I like to see people from distance...the drivers with their trucks and the men and women on their bicycles or bullock-carts.... with all their joys and sorrows lifting their shoulders or shifting their eyebrows...I like to see innocent children waving ‘hi’ to these moving strangers... it’s a joy for them to ‘smile’ at these strangers in their move from one point to a destination of their own... and in our move how many of us takes that moment to wave back... perhaps if we do, that would have made their life a wee bit happier...happy in sharing to their friends that somebody waved back at them.. a ‘hi’ from someone whose life will cross theirs only that one time...that few seconds of speeding train.

I like the look in those men and women at the railway crossings or in the railway stations... some looks that are blank...staring at the horizon of life that has been drawn, erased and redrawn again only to erase and redraw in the days to come... the sketch of uncertainty reflecting in their eyes; some others have in them a look that are so deep with volumes to share but simply crushed by the wheels and noise of the moving train... there in those eyes are the twinkle of a smile....hesitantly clinging on to the eyelash... would they have released if the train didn't move?

My mind stops to wonder about the possible reasons for the exhausted postures of few others sitting on the stone benches across the stations. Will any one of them become that little news in the small box in one of the news papers tomorrow? Will any one sitting next to them feel the heavy pulse of their thoughts and be able to unlock the knots and release them to a new morning?

The train accelerates to reach its destination.... through its predefined path.... through a set time frame.... and it reaches there, with stops here and there, speeding now and then...

...the engine knew only one language... it had only one voice.



Sunday, September 21, 2008

Evolution

Some times, we walk into some places we were never before, and its habitat causes a change in our lives. The streets, the vendors, the neighbourhood, the customs and the culture... the voices you hear and the noises you avoid... the words you learn and the phrases you reject... the rituals you are mused about and the rites you are amazed about....

...all having its ripple effects in your lives.

Some other times, some people walk into a capsule of time in our lives...through a kind gesture or a caring word...through an uninteted touch in words or otherwise, or an intentional embrace in a heartening look or warm smile... eventually growing beyond the radius of the time capsule they first entered and conquering the reign of heart andmind with a feeling that is special to only those who belong to each other... that special feeling of wanting to be in the presence of each other... the divine presence of someone special...

...all causing its ripple effects in our lives.

Some lives are dissolved in the changes these effects causes on them...

Some other lives evolves to an even better shape and content...

Dissolution of one is destructive and painful.

Evolution too is painful with the change of fibre and substance and the suffocation it causes deep within.

Some dissolutions are essential and its pain inevitable.

And the pain of evolution is the tax levied on us for the joy and happiness the evolved state has to offer.

Pain..even in the absence of our own shadows..it is sure to accompany us... ...in different costumes...

Time has greeted me with a garland of evolution....

Thursday, September 18, 2008

The Paradox in Simplicity

Imagine....

...life is all about movement.. motion... and in that process what all we do...what all we fail to do... what all we plan to do.. the doings are undone at times in the jerks of the motion...and at times the doings are crystallized as habits and addictions.... in time the undone doings forms different shapes that defines the form and silhouette of the life that follows....

....life moves on...and in that motion pictures of other moving lives are captured...a few of them that goes into the album of memories... sunny days and rainy days takes its turns....seasons flips its pages for us to read the next and then the next... one that offers colours to eyes through the flowers it grow....the other that enrich our taste buds through the fruits it present...

...what do we need?

...and when we have that, what else do we need?

How many more mountains should we climb....how many more blisters should you have...how many more shelters should we pass by.... how many more...