She's so special.

More than my greetings for her on this special day, I am thoughtful of the intensity of my prayers to have her for me, for many many more years to come; more than my greeting for her, I am thoughtful of whether my greeting will remind her of the years gone by, the many losses in return for few riches, the many falls and the few rises, the many pains and the little gains, and the perceived challenges ahead in life! Will that make her sit and think, all alone…, because I wished her today!!

There are times when I look at others, who live with theirs, taking out…even at their old age, wrinkled skins and shoulders bent, silver hair and can hardly hear, and I wonder, if it can be for them, O God, please be kind to grand me this wish, that I have a lifetime to live with her.

I don’t want to leave this world, leaving her behind me, for I can’t think of an image of her swallowing tears, sitting leaning on the wall, from the pain of seeing me go; I don’t want her to leave me earlier either, for I can’t think of how painful it would be for me to live through the days and nights with the realization of her absence in my life.

There isn’t a word good enough that I can find to describe my love for her; even that word – love - that has stood tall to describe the legendary relationship the world has seen, doesn’t suffice enough to contain what I carry for her in my heart; is love an intense mix of care, affection, concern, longing, a sense where you want to absorb their pain, a sense where you want to do things that double their joy, one that you wish for them more that you wish for you, a serene sense, an illusion of calmness, the fragrance of all seasons, the sole reserve of beauty, all that and more?

The sensations can’t be any different for you either!

Because, for many like me, mothers are so special; so special beyond definition – their existence has a fathomless meaning that fails definitions; so special beyond the demands of time – their lap are sought after by their children no matter how much they grow or which corner office they hold; so special above the ivy league of universities – the lessons we learn of their endurance and experience of life are beyond the volumes in their libraries; so special, that their endurance are not for them, but for their children; their ambitions are not theirs, but of their children, their steps in life are not to search their destination, but to create a path for their children travelling in search of to theirs!

It’s my mom’s birthday today; and she’s so innocent, she wouldn’t know that, for she has never celebrated one, nor will she celebrate this. All she did was to laugh “Ah! You remember the date!”


Shahir