It disappoints me to think that you are a part of me! A part which if you were a garment I would have spread you on a sewing table, pull out the scissors from the kit, and cut you into pieces and made ribbons out of you for the children in the street to tie on the fences and hang on the branches of the trees they play joyously with their minds less heavier than mine!You keep telling me things that aren’t helping me go forward. When I want silence, you yell at me with the possibilities of a hypothetical future that has neither a form nor a shape and is nothing but an illusion! Your words, I must tell you, are more often than not making the present heavy on my shoulders!
Why do you bring it to my awareness the things that my conscience wants to be blind? I don’t want you to talk to me when I am dressing up or when I am taking shower! I don’t want you to talk to me when I am putting my shoes on or when I am climbing the stairs. I don’t want your company when I sit looking outside through the window on my way to work nor when I return home. I wish you can leave me alone, and let the wisdom to reason take the decisions of my life.
Please don’t misunderstand me; you know how much I love your company in my life. You know how much I love to be with you; you know how much you contribute to the whatever richness I have in the ability to express the vibrations of my existence, and that of the life around me. It is because of you, that I see the pain of a crying child, or the agony in a fisherman’s house; those who do not have someone like you, I know, are barren in their life and I know it is your presence that has made me compassionate; it is your presence in my life that has made me empathetic towards others, it is your presence in my life that has made me understand the torment of the people who suffer. It is you who opens my eyes to the less privileged. I am aware of all your contributions, but, I want you to understand that you have become a cross that I am finding heavy as I walk up-hill in my life.
Or if you are with me, fill me with your caring words; enable me with your empowering stories; scream loudly at me the knowledge that you were so influenced from the books you read, from the few great people you associated with in the past. Don’t take me, through your conversations, to the dungeons of anxiety, fear and insecurity of life; say into my ears the mantras that will protect me from the negativity of the people and events I am surrounded with; let your words brighten me up; show me the silver lines in every dark cloud that prevents the light from reaching me. You have the words, you have it in you, and its only you who can help me, because its only you who is with me, every moment of my life.
Why don’t you understand your importance? Why don’t you understand the influence of every words that you are sharing with me?
O! my Thoughts, if only you can tell me things that are positive, how much more better I would have been!
For, don’t you know it is you who make me smile or cry, flee or fight, deliver or drown; it’s all about what you are telling me that makes a difference. Tell me about the best of possibilities in the worst of situations, and be with me as my powerful companion.
With Love, to my dear Thoughts,
Shahir
(a conversation with my 'thoughts'; perhaps for you, with yours)
