O! Dear,
I have been wanting to connect with you for ages now, and didn't want to rush you a mail or flash on you a phone call but sit down and talk leisurely; it never happened all this while, for such is the pace of life!
I sometimes wonder in whose hands the reign of my life is! Who is accelerating it? Or, what is, rather?
I dont' know about you, but there are moments when I fall into silence as I come back from work, and perhaps would remain silent for hours without me knowing. A withdrawn state of being, with lot of conversation going on in mind and yet the voice suppressed between the chest ! The politics at work, the pressure of things to do and the desire to deliver more, the deadlines, the relationship, the battles, the failures, the dejection, the surprises, the celebrations, the cocktail of experiences we go through on a day is such that the exhaustion silences us as the day pulls down its curtain in disguise of a restful night !
That's when, my dear, with a punctuation of a sigh, the temptation to wrap those thoughts in these words become stronger. At times it gets birth as a little verses, and at times it becomes a letter; at times it simply flutters its wings and fly away to an unknown garden of dreams, and at times it simply become vapour and exist just as a steam of thought on the warm walls of my heart !
I am writing all these today for no reasons! I feel so exhausted - one of those days when you feel so heavy inside but do not know why you feel so and can't point a finger at any reasons...; you are a victim who had to read me as a result.
It keeps me wonder, what is it that I am chasing with such an exhaustive energy! What is it that I am aiming to gain with such a loss of the 'present'! The credentials, the laurels, a shining profile - just to be framed in a box of obituary in the end ?
Love
Shahir
October 16, 2011
