How will this year be different? What do I want to be, dont want to be, to have, and not to have..
I want to be healthy and support those who are struggling with ill-health; I want to be wealthy and be of help for those who find life as heavier than the cross; I want the ability to demonstrate my strength before the eyes of those who see me weak; to remain calm in front of life’s storms; I want the commonsense to feel the care and passion of whom I meet and the sixth-sense to see the strings of the wicked laid beneath my feet; I want the courage to move forward leaping beyond the hurdles of life; the sanity to keep my eyes on the goals and the wisdom to re-write.
I want the simplicity in life to enjoy the juice of a mango trickling through my fingers and knuckles; the spontaniety to give a hug if that will express my thought more so well; walk without a slipper to stay connected with where I belong and yet uphold the status of society I live with; I want to sit in the corner of my room in darkness or under the light without being questioned, to think of people, events, lives and their memories.
I want to scream if so I wish and remain silent without being labelled as insane; I want to be emotional without being vulnerable; I want to be sensitive without being overlooked; I want to hum a tune without being ridiculed, or sing a song without being judged. I want to relish the sweetness of language and be seduced by the lyrics of Gulzar.
I want to cherish the good memories of the past and bury the ones that had slowed me down often times; inherit the good values of those who I looked up to and let go the traits that has pulled me down. I want to remember the attributes of the ones who inspired me, and learn from the characteristics of those who failed to leave their mark. I want to listen to the echo of words of those who loved me, and fade out the voice of those whose feeling was lesser than love and more than hatred.
O! My dear! I want to be what I am and grow to the fullness of what I am capable of being, without pursuing the glorifying labels and knighthood of those who are ultimately just as I am – more than me in something and less than me in some other things.
2010. What will I make of you? What is it that I want through you for which the ‘universe will conspire with me’ to achieve them?
To survive amidst the chaos of life, its hypocricy, its opportunities and possibilities, its glory and grace, is what I want in 2010. To survive in the midlde of the tall and the stalled, the smiling and the grinning, the caring and the staring...to survive without losing my sanity...
I look forward to holding your hands and walk through the path of future...
Hold me..., my friend, because I have reasons to live... a few birthdays and another Christmas to celebrate!
And what are your reasons?
Shahir.
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