Tuesday, July 29, 2008
May be, you know someone like this too...
We come across different categories of people, and it’s especially interesting for me to silently observe the behaviours of people I meet – not to be judgemental but with an objective of learning and understanding people dynamics… why we do things the way we do and why we say things the way we say… all that slight gradation of behaviours that let out vibrant colours of attributes about the person, as the colours through a prism.
One of the recurring patterns of distinction between some great personalities and some absolutely appalling characters are the method in which they put their energy on observing others, the way in which they focus on others. “What is he/she doing….” is in the top of their agenda all the time!
THE FIRST LEVEL (MY FAVOURITES): I admire these people… the ones whom I keep in the first level…; they have this on top of their agenda, because they want to continuously adapt their formula of success by looking at other successful people and benchmark their attributes and integrate the best of it to their own. That’s a fantastic quality, and it takes crushing of abysmal ego that many of us carry on our shoulders. I like these people. I like to be part of their lives… to be around them so that the shadow of their attributes will fall on me too that would eventually build in me the characteristics of success that made them successful. These are great people who have the desire to improve them, every day.
THE SECOND LEVEL: There is another set of people…. awfully ridiculous. They too have the same question on their agenda “what is he doing..”. The only difference is, their focus is to see what is he doing wrong, and what I can pick from his deeds and words so that I can throw that at him as dirt… with an absolute satisfaction in screaming out loud to say that “see, look, I told you this guy is an absolute s#!t and he knows nothing and he is this or that…”. They may have in their suitcase the certificates of MBA or honors of PhD or whatever from Ivy league universities …. but awfully failed to absorb in them the qualities those very universities were known to be the cradle of.
LEARN FROM ATHLETES: When an athlete walks into his track, his aim is not to ‘defeat’; his aim is to ‘win’. There is a difference. When your focus is to defeat, you generate negative thoughts; your focus is not on your strength but on all the great achievements of your competitor, giving it a negative aura; when your focus is to ‘win’, your focus is on your strength and your vision to achieve – to cross that finishing line ‘first’, and in a graceful manner….so that you can run another lap around the stadium with the bouquet of achievement deeply engraved in you.
In his book “As A Man Thinketh”, James Allen wrote this: “The soul attracts that which it secretly harbors; that which it loves, and also that which it fears. It reaches the height of its cherished aspirations. It falls to the level of its unchastened desires”
The people in the first category, they resign to the folds of night with satisfaction in their heart and a hope in their mind for an even better morning.
The people in the second category, they resign to the claws of night with vengeance and hatred fuming in their heart and unfinished strategies for the morning…
I adore the first…
… and I am privileged to have known a few who belongs to this.
I abhor the second…
… and I know at least one for sure whom I got introduced to recently who is a strong contender for this award, who is unfortunately focused on defeating me, and not winning for himself; whose challenges are to uproot me, and not spreading his roots!
Monday, July 28, 2008
View From My Window Sill
....that wet cloth on your forehead and that caring look in your mothers eyes, the sound of pain and the silence of heart, the joy of love and the sense of life, you and me and many to come, winter and summer and the bliss of spring...
All that and more is life..
Saturday, July 26, 2008
Meaning Is In The Eyes Of Beholder
Ask me not the meaning; for
there is no meaning, except own definitions;
definitions are choices we make, off
the wisdom we possess; choices
define gravity towards destination;
and distance to destinations
defines the friction of destiny.
-WORDSmith-
Thursday, July 24, 2008
Thursday Musing...
(I tried to weave words to make sentences to give voice to my thoughts... they were not sitting well at all. Some beads of words were bulging out... and in some places the threads broken..and some beads wouldn’t take the needle in at all.. and therefore no sentences were made.. and without life to breath, the thoughts were buried in the cemetery of the day)
There was a time in the morning I wanted to write about addictions. How people get addicted to things. Most addictions are something that started as a mode of ‘experimenting’ something, then leading to ‘enjoying’ its pleasure, which then lead to painfully pursuing that pleasure at any cost at the time of need. Devoid of that pleasure, one become insane... behaviour getting distorted, self-esteem diving deep to the cliff of despair... thoughts becoming unclear, vision obscured....; addiction... there are a some addicted to drugs; Wendy is addicted to chocolates...
...and some are addicted to their partner they love.
I also wanted to write about growth. What is growth? “Constant death is what defines growth”. Why do we eat? To grow..! We grow ... including our hair.. nails.. ; Then? We cut them off... we trim them.. because its ‘grown up’! What a paradox again! I thought of it when I was trimming my nails last week and I told my friend about it..., two weeks of my growth is lying dead on a black table.. a part of me is going to be buried with no salut nor ceremonies...; and life still goes on...! And one day, we will lye dead... as these nails.... perhaps with glossy ceremonies... yet becoming food for worms...eventual fertilizer for a cabbage farm (ah!! exaggerated) !!!
What else did I want to write today? Yes.. about our mind and what we store in them and what we choose to release....; how does what we store in us get decayed over time and hurt us, and how does what we release from us fall as a whip on others and hurt them....; I want to take out the word ‘sorry’ from my vocabulary. Not because I don’t want to apologize. Instead of being conscious of wanting to apologize for the mistakes we do, perhaps it may be even better to increasingly be conscious on avoiding those mistakes... so that you don’t have to say ‘sorry’... and ‘sorry’ again...
Ah!!! Thats more to write.... but couldn’t sit down and write today.
Tuesday, July 22, 2008
Happy Birthday "Madiba"
Saddam...who once signed to execute, was executed.
Armada...once that stood as the mightiest, was defeated.
Soviet...once cradle of power and literary geniuses, was shattered!
And what did we learn?
That’s the ‘bigger than life’ picture of things that are happening ‘there’, and therefore it remains virtually insignificant in our life..., is perhaps the reasoning!
What is the moral of story for you and I take to our corporate corridors and our living rooms?
In our corporate world, and in our living rooms, there are discriminations we make in our everyday life. We carry orders to manipulate and arrest the development of characters and careers of those ‘below’ us, or less powerful than us, or less privileged than us, because they are different than us, or because they are from a distant race than ours, or country, or religion, or colour, or gender. We execute mass massacres of the people’s hopes and dreams for a better tomorrow, amputate the limbs of their vision for a better life, because they are from the third world, or they are of different school of thoughts, or their ancestors had a history, or their political-religious leaders actions are made as the actions of these people. We stand tall and mighty with the power in our corporate circle, or the ego from the people we know or the tools we can access, and we roll-over those in our path heedless of the blood it spill crushing the skull and ribs and bones of the tiniest of humanity who in our eyes are disqualified for the label of human being. And our vision is blinded by the laurels we sit on and eclipsed by the glory we inherited by virtue, unaware that ‘this too shall pass...’; no fortune has lasted for ever, nor has misery...
We are silhouttes of Kradzics and Saddam’s and Armada and Soviet within our organizational and family environment. Our atrocities may be miniature in size, but the impact of its claws pierced on the individual lives are nothing less than the former.
Mightiest among us are then those who are kind in heart and clear in mind whose steps are measured with values in life... and they live in the pages of history and in the hearts of children of generations to come celebrated in kind and followed in fervour...
(belated Happy 90th Birthday, Madiba*...)
* Madiba is the nick name of Nelson Mandela who celebrated his 90th Birthday last Friday.
Friday, July 18, 2008
Bricks, Fire, Pressure, Diamond and You
Woods burn in fire; and in fire, gold is purified.
What would you like to be known as; as broken piece of brick; as burnt ashes of wood.... or a diamond in the making...or a purified ounce of gold?
Every time we are faced with a challenging situation, a situation that you would have liked not to have happened, every time we are faced with an issue that weighs upon us so heavily and brings you down on your knees in submission, every time you feel the heat of an incident burning through your skin and all your elements within, every time you think to yourself for the earth to open wide and to be swallowed deep to the crest of it...
... every time you see your image in the mirror, in despise..., feeling pity for the state you are in...; every time you look up from the bottom of the pit, feeling unable to scale up the wall...; every time you see a new black spot in you, causing crack in your perceived perfection...; every time you lose faith in mornings and long for the evenings or fears the night and run towards morning...
Every time you feel you are a splash of ink in a huge wide canvas... or insignificant as a grain of sand in a long winding beach...
Every time you feel you are dwarfed by the giants of characters .....
Every time you feel you are eclipsed in the long shadows of those covering lights...
Every time you feel you are not the ‘you’ you wanted to be and the scars and bruises are seen all over...
Son!! I want you to think... that bricks that are perceived as strong but breaks under pressure, and diamond is but coal worked under pressure..
I want you to think, that the wood with what catamarans are made for oarsmen to sail through the roughest of waters but will burn in the flames of fire; and what is gold in the hands of a goldsmith... it is purified in the heat and flames of fire... dirt removed, transformation from impurity to purity... a devalued substance to valued ornament...
Let the pressure of tears wash the coal to bring diamond out of it...
Let the flames of experiments purify to bring in you the value of gold...
Wednesday, July 16, 2008
MIDNIGHT MIND
the bell in the temple
and mosque’s minaret
The breeze on the leaves,
chimes in the buildings
and birds on the branches
The lantern in the inn,
the avenue’s lamp-posts
and crickets in the woods
The lullaby of a mother,
bees in the gardens
and songs from the fields
Into the cradle of sleep,
all, but a craving mind
slowly retired to rest.
Tuesday, July 15, 2008
PIP PIP with People
I am using an actual example from an organization that was shared with me recently.
But from the screaming in the public corridor where all those who are not involved too are listening to the content, how is it benefiting the process in general and organizational growth in particular? What is the result of this action?
On the outset, the manager who was directly responsible for the mistake received the shower from his leader, and he realized his mistake and commits himself not to repeat that mistake. However, how would this have affected his credibility among the other staff on whom he may have to go tomorrow and give instructions to avoid some other mistakes?
Also, the other director and senior managers who too were recepients of the leader’s anger and frustration of the mistake that happened, too had to silently and defenselessly listen to the outburst. Though the staff may not pronounce their thoughts they carry inside them for the director or the senior managers, how would this outburst have affected the credibility of these seniors in the organization.
In general, if any of these people will raise tomorrow an issue or highlight a mistake to their staff, the initial reaction in their mind would be “hei, didn’t you get a shower the other day for making an even bigger mistake?”
WHAT IS THE BEST WAY TO DEAL WITH SUCH SITUATIONS?
PIP PIP is the mantra.
Punish in Private. Praise in Public.
What are the advantages of PIP: PUNISH IN PRIVATE?
What are the advantages of PIP: PRAISE IN PUBLIC?
Monday, July 14, 2008
Defining Pleasure
What is the definition of Pleasure? It may be a matter of opinion, like in any other definitions.
Pleasure is the result of an act – or a combination of acts – that makes one feel as light as feather and elated as high and close to the edge of heaven, congruent with moral and social ethics, and one in which all who are involved shares a reasonably same proportion of joy, and one that can be remembered as an event or series of events that years later will still bring a smile on ones face...; pleasure is something that you experienced or visualized as experienced, and that the experience can be shared with your sons and daughters, with joy and laughter, like you read a bed-time story...
....in having pleasure, integrity becomes the corner stone; values become the key driver; it can be as simple as weaving a garland of jasmine flowers and as rich as having an explosive orgasm with the person of your dream...; it could be as simple as a stroll in the woods on a Sunday morning; it could be as personal as a night spent on the river bank watching the patterns of stars in the sky; pleasure can be simple, and most often sustainable in memories...
Sunday, July 13, 2008
How are you framing your words?
When you go to a studio to take a photograph for your passport, you are made to pose, and then asked to ‘smile’... and then we ‘smile’.. an artificial smile to the face of a lifeless camera. What if the cameraman ask you to remember something that was so pleasant for you.. something that was a very enjoyable experience for you...and to bring that to your face...? Or what if he ask, instead of asking to ‘smile’... if he ask you to ‘cheer up’...?
When you talk to an architect, we tell him or her, I want a ‘door’ here. And it’s the ‘door’ that he will draw or build into that plan. What if we ask him to have a ‘passage’ here, so that it could be anything like an arch, or whatever a passage could mean through the filter of that architect’s mind?
How careful are we, and how conscious are we in using the right choice of words that empowers the other person, enable the other person to dip into his positively charged resource state of mind and create in him the visuals of what to do and than what not to do? How often we end up saying (we don’t even remember) “I don’t want you to think....”. Instead, how empowering it would be to say “I want you think....” and tell him exactly what you want him to think instead. (“I don’t want you to think that I am patronizing you, Shahir”...and what you just asked me to think is just that... that you are patronizing me, because you have to think of thing first in order for you not to think of it, think of it now; instead, if you were to tell me, “I want you to think that I am only suggesting a few things that I believe could be beneficial in such a situation...” and that’s exactly what I will tend to think)
What are the words that you can begin to use to create in the other person’s mind a positive image of what he can do and achieve? How can you say things differently that’s more empowering and enabling...? Why don’t you say something, and say that again differently... and see which one sounds better?
Friday, July 11, 2008
In memory of many of them ... and Deepa
a series of letters that started flowing in 1992, from a senior class mate Shahina and her hostel-mate Sulu..; a hand-painted greeting card from Babu Oniyil... a beautifully written letter from Ms Dhoulath....
...a diary of my notes from a few months in 1992...;the challenges and progress at work.. the inspiring moments.. and moments of despair...
...my class picture from 10th grade; my class picture from 7th grade...; my favourite text books from different classes... torn on its edges and discoloured with ageing...; a peacock feather that I must have kept one of those days to see my luck... and on the margins various attempts to develop the best signature... ‘s’ signed as swan and a ‘d’ signed with a smiley...;
...I had a nostalgic visit to the memory lane while I was clearing my attic today.... letters and greeting cards and autograph from the school days and beyond ....
I am remembering you my friends... wherever you are... whatever you have become.
And a line of prayer for you Deepa...; I wish you had a different choice than to leave this world, my dearest friend...; I want to call you the nick-name that I use to call you for which you hated me through which you became my good friend.... if only you can wake up from where you are and come back to live the life through its challenges.... no matter how broken your hopes are no matter how cracked your dreams are... yet looking at the darkest of the clouds and rekindle in you the ability you had to see the silver line...the ability that you held my hands to teach me..;
a line of prayer for you, Deepa...; I wish you had a different choice...
_____________________________________________________________
What memories of these months and days will be carried to remember a decade from now? What from work? What from relationship? What from achievements? What from failures? What from learnings? What from experiences? What from hopes? What from dreams? What from what happened? What from what failed to happened?
Wednesday, July 9, 2008
Black & White Carnival and a still movie
and the images still...
Time - but moving..
and memories in air
suspended on strings.
It’s a carnival
in black & white
It’s loud around
All lips moving
I hear nothing...
A smile, or a twitch
or what is it?
Fire, and flames
in time, ashes.
Music and waltz
and then, retreat...?
Lines, curves, arches
of dreams and hopes
torn and burnt sketches
curled and shrunk
and the reels of movie
faded...discoloured
ps: what is eternal in life? What is it that we can be guaranteed about, except the guarantee of uncertainty? Perhaps the ability to dream is immortal...eternal... and the pursuit of that dream!
Tuesday, July 8, 2008
Rambling Noise...Comforting Breeze..
Sometimes...when it is on for long... and when it will begin to cause in us an uncomfortable feeling, we switch it off. It may not stop immediately. The blades still rotate, unintrusively perhaps..to gradually come to a permanent halt... but it does stop.. till you decide to switch it on again... intentionally. Some of our un-resourceful engagements need to be switched off similarly... so that it comes to a gradual halt... until we decide to switch it on again... returning to that unresourceful state of being...
Or when we begin to feel uncomfortable from not having it on... we decide to switch it on and the blades begin to work... to rotate... to function... thus taking away our uncomfortable feeling with its cool breeze... the blades starts rotating slowly.. but in time gathers momentum...! When we decide to implant new habits in us... and when we discipline to practice them... it then brings results..., first slowly, but surely gathering its momentum... and gradually blending with our nature.... our character... therefore making us a better and different person...
...rambling noise...
....comforting breeze...
Monday, July 7, 2008
Benchmarking Best Practices
Was going through one of the earlier issues of the Hotels Magazine... and was reading about the Hotelier of the World Award Winner Raymond Bickson...
Wondering...
...how many of the Hotel General Managers around me would have made an attempt to know and benchmark on a few good things the winner has done to qualify him for this award... and to see how many of those benchmarked best practices they were willing to introduce...
Was it the ‘green initiative’... was it ‘energy conservation’... was it ‘guest satisfaction’... was it ‘revenue generation or yield management’... or was it a comprehensive package of all that made a difference...
Just a loud thinking... with a wild assumption that many must have been really busy doing things they’ve been doing all their career... or fire-fighting the tactical & operational day-to-day issues... or sitting around the table and working around the refurbishment boards... or supervising the Chief Engineer to change the 40W bulbs to 60W in the lobby... or following up with the Executive Housekeeper to change the angle of flower-vase in the Royal Suite to a further 20degree instead of its current position...
I poured an ounce of sarcasm intentionally...
Tuesday, July 1, 2008
Towards Painting A Dream
When on August 8th, the pilot of the airline will announce the take-off of the flight, it will mark my take-off to a new future…; and on the next day morning when he will announce to the passengers and crew to prepare for landing… it will mark my landing on the first steps of that new future…
… there is no return; there is no looking back. The resignation letter has received its final imprint of signature… from the man who had to nod his head to let me go to chase my dream, causing a crack on his own dream… a man to whom I am greatly obliged for his role in transforming me to the person I am today – a role that I regard as phenomenal; a man whose patience in tolerating my limitations and encouraging my strength which made all the difference (I wonder if he ever felt any anger on me during the last sixteen years at all!!! Except for an afternoon in 1992, there wasn’t a single day when he had expressed his frustration on me, nor a frown on his face… it’s been a smooth sale… a real long and smooth sale!!!)
My resignation letter now has received its final imprint of signature…signaling the departure of an era that began in June of 1991 – one which saw hills and valleys of success and failures… luckily though more of the former than the latter with the blessings of Providence and prayers of a few kind hearts…
My resignation letter now has received its final imprint of signature……signaling the ushering of a new era… beginning August 08, 2008 – one which is filled with dreams and hopes and embroidered with thoughts of uncertainties and challenges.
Of the past, I have in mind the picture of that young boy who had to draw his moustache with an eyebrow pencil to make it ‘appear’ in the picture when applying for a passport. I have in mind the picture of a young man who was carried on the shoulders of his colleagues through the banquet hall of the hotel following a successful event. I have in mind the picture of that young professional criss-crossing Middle East & Africa developing pipeline of talents. There are many pictures … many images tagged to different voice… I am sure they will all come with me to build in me that nostalgia in the silent moments of my future…
And of the future, I have in mind the picture of that little office that we will set up in the coming months… that very little one… that speaks for itself the size of our organization and the measure of our little steps that we are taking into our future. But I have in mind too the picture of that office, with the moving images of our young and dynamic staff walking through the cubicles that has glazing steel frames and sand-blasted glass dividers…with the voice of telephones ringing in this chamber and the other chamber and in the other chamber… with the golden sign of our organization shining on the wall…the image of our office in 2015. I have in mind too the picture of that evening… the grand celebration of our tenth anniversary in August 2018… that grand evening with loud music and great people from different walks of life… our first clients to our latest beneficiaries and well-wishers… the grand banquet of five course meal… the display of little pieces of memories from our initial steps… the first cheque… the first flier… the first registrations.. the first program… the first images…
I hold those pictures close to my heart – no.. in my heart… as I will climb the stairs to the airplane… the stairs to the future… as it will take off in August.
With different strokes of patience and with different colours of perseverance… we will paint that picture in the wide canvas of our real life…