I am unable to write anything today; and it’s a paradox when I say that since I woke up this morning (and that too getting up at 5:30 in the morning after two weeks of gap) I had in mind so many streams of thoughts that I wanted to write. Ah! You call it procrastination... or you call it waiting for it to ripe... it simply got delayed from first hour to the next and from there to the next of the next...; and now I understand, it was not a delay.. rather it is not going to happen at all... at least today.(I tried to weave words to make sentences to give voice to my thoughts... they were not sitting well at all. Some beads of words were bulging out... and in some places the threads broken..and some beads wouldn’t take the needle in at all.. and therefore no sentences were made.. and without life to breath, the thoughts were buried in the cemetery of the day)
There was a time in the morning I wanted to write about addictions. How people get addicted to things. Most addictions are something that started as a mode of ‘experimenting’ something, then leading to ‘enjoying’ its pleasure, which then lead to painfully pursuing that pleasure at any cost at the time of need. Devoid of that pleasure, one become insane... behaviour getting distorted, self-esteem diving deep to the cliff of despair... thoughts becoming unclear, vision obscured....; addiction... there are a some addicted to drugs; Wendy is addicted to chocolates...
...and some are addicted to their partner they love.
I also wanted to write about growth. What is growth? “Constant death is what defines growth”. Why do we eat? To grow..! We grow ... including our hair.. nails.. ; Then? We cut them off... we trim them.. because its ‘grown up’! What a paradox again! I thought of it when I was trimming my nails last week and I told my friend about it..., two weeks of my growth is lying dead on a black table.. a part of me is going to be buried with no salut nor ceremonies...; and life still goes on...! And one day, we will lye dead... as these nails.... perhaps with glossy ceremonies... yet becoming food for worms...eventual fertilizer for a cabbage farm (ah!! exaggerated) !!!
What else did I want to write today? Yes.. about our mind and what we store in them and what we choose to release....; how does what we store in us get decayed over time and hurt us, and how does what we release from us fall as a whip on others and hurt them....; I want to take out the word ‘sorry’ from my vocabulary. Not because I don’t want to apologize. Instead of being conscious of wanting to apologize for the mistakes we do, perhaps it may be even better to increasingly be conscious on avoiding those mistakes... so that you don’t have to say ‘sorry’... and ‘sorry’ again...
Ah!!! Thats more to write.... but couldn’t sit down and write today.
And yes, most importantly, I also wanted to thank those of you who are coming in and reading me here; because you are reading, it inspires me. Oh.. that's probably my next topic to write....; which one is more important.. "inspiration" or "aspiration"... more on that later.
