An old page from the past...

From the foggy memories of the past, her thoughts popped up to my conscious world....; the memories of those golden days; the memories of the wonderful imaginations we weaved in the canvas of our love; the memories of those nice words and feelings; the rythm of our breathe and the harmony of our hearts; all those days and nights and joy and agonies packaged into a little moment of thought... .and I cherish them.

I didn't want to let them go uncelebrated; I recorded them in my digital recorder...; to remember when everything is forgotten; to remember when everything is forgettable.Ten years ago, we were to each other what is sea to sea-shore.

Do you want to call it 'love', so be it.

And now, I have a wife and a daughter..., and she is married too. Is it a sin to cherish them - because my present is presented to my wife and daughter?

Should I erase the limbs of my past to strengthen the body of my future? Will I then exist - without these small notes from the dusty pages of the past? Ain't these memories a natural part of existence? Ain't they like the wind that comes from nowhere, simply to brush your face to comfort you, and move forward to only come back again in a different costume?

Should these memories be harnessed, shackled to the 'laws' of married life, and bury them in the depth of thoughts so that the present can grow in its ashes?

Posted on: September 13, 2006

That's Why I Love You

Because you are so sweet.

When I am at work, I sometime hear your voice echo in my ears, and then I smile.

When I am walking, I sometime see you walking with me, and then I smile. Your giggles are so soothing, your words are so comforting. And your plays - naughty and the others - are all so fulfilling, my dearest one, I am helpless but keep thinking of you. I am beginning to become so possessive of you - in fact I am afraid of the degree in which the possessiveness is growing; when I wake up, and look at you with all the descriptions of beauty, innocence and love flashing through my mind, I begin to think my dear, how blessed I am to have you in my life.

And when you wake up too with all the noises you hear of me dressing up in the morning, and then when I hear your broken and chirpy excited words and plans for the day, oh dear... I am full of joy.When everything and anything goes wrong elsewhere, I know I have you who can trigger the love passion and reason to be happy. Isn't that wonderful? In one breath I think to myself, that I want you to remain as you are now, and at the same time I long to see you grow...

You are the best thing to have happened in my life; you are not just my daughter, you are the reason for my being.

Posted on September 12, 2006

Sending Naisha to school (Abraham Lincoln's letter)

My little girl will start her school soon; and I can't even think of how to let her go alone to an unknown world - thinking to myself that my wife and I are her protectors!!!

I know it's not true, but I just can't comprehend this feeling of her stepping into the stream of real life!!

That was the premise of me wanting to jot down my thoughts. I want to tell her teachers to take care of her; I want to tell her 'friends' - Oh, this little one will hav her favourites - to take care of her; I want to tell the driver to take care of her; I want to tell the nanny in school to take care of her; I want to tell them not to push her; I want to tell them not to pull her; I want to tell them to love her... and I want to tell them to help her grow with the heart of Mother Theresa, with the patience of Mahatma Gandhi, with the perseverance of Martin Luther King, with the drive of Lans Amstrong, with the vision of Nelson Mandela.... all this I want to tell them.

And then I found this letter Abraham Lincoln wrote to his son's teacher; perhaps he too was going through such a turmoil. This is what I also want to tell my l'le one's teacher...

“My daughter starts school today. It is all going to be strange and new to her for a while and I wish you would treat her gently. It is an adventure that might take her across continents. All adventures that probably include wars, tragedy and sorrow.

To live this life will require faith, love and courage. So dear Teacher, will you please take her by her hand and teach her things she will have to know, teaching her - but gently, if you can.

Teach her that for every enemy, there is a friend. She will have to know that all men are not just, that all men are not true. But teach her also that for every scoundrel there is a hero, that for every crooked politician, there is a dedicated leader.

Teach her if you can that 10 cents earned is of far more value than a dollar found. In school, teacher, it is far more honorable to fail than to cheat. Teach her to learn how to gracefully lose, and enjoy winning when she does win.Teach her to be gentle with people, tough with tough people. Steer her away from envy if you can and teach her the secret of quiet laughter. Teach her if you can - how to laugh when she is sad, teach her there is no shame in tears.

Teach her there can be glory in failure and despair in success. Teach her to scoff at cynics.Teach her if you can the wonders of books, but also give time to ponder the extreme mystery of birds in the sky, bees in the sun and flowers on a green hill. Teach her to have faith in her own ideas, even if every one tell her they are wrong.Try to give my daughter the strength not to follow the crowd when everyone else is doing it.

Teach her to listen to every one, but teach her also to filters all that she hears on a screen of truth and take only the good that comes through.Teach her to sell her talents and brains to the highest bidder but never to put a price tag on her heart and soul. Let her have the courage to be impatient, let her have the patient to be brave.

Teach her to have sublime faith in herself, because then she will always have sublime faith in mankind, in God.This is the order, teacher but see what best you can do. She is such a nice little girl and she is my daughter.

Posted on September 10, 2006